10 March 2007
Well the last few days have been hell on earth quite honestly.Seraphina deteriorated fast with this nasty MRSA bug and then it was found that she also had bronchiolitis and pneumonia bug.It was so horrible watching her struggling to breathe and coughing so much she was completely winded and went blue,desatting down to 19%.she then started having bad apnoeas and when the Consultant cme to see her he said that she needed to be re ventilated and to withdraw feedings and give TPN as whatever she was being given she was vomiting back.She was requiring suctioning out as well which the poor darling didnt like but she was producing SOOO much mucus it was unbelievable.When she breathed she sounded (and still does) like a bowl of rice crispies as she was crackling and wheezing so much.she sat on my lap for a cuddle and then just turned puce and her little eyes were bulging as she couldnt clear her airways.I have virtually lived at the hospital not daring to move as they werent sure that she would pull through this time as she had so many bugs to fight AND unfortunately she had been given her second lot of imms literally just before she came down with this bug.Today was the first day that they could say to me she had 'officially' been recognised as stable, on CPAP thankfully now.she is still looking very poorly and washed out and I know that we are by no means out of the woods yet,but we have cause to hope...something which we didnt have a couple of days ago.she is also tolerating very small amounts of feeds every 2 hours.I have also started expressing milk for her again after a 2 week break..this was becaue even though she hadnt had anything but bottles for quite some time now (albeit with EBM in)when she had her last cuddle before being reventilated,she tried to latch on to my T-shirt!.The nurse asked if I would like to put her next to my bare breast for comfort and she actually did try and latch on to me and suck,bless her! That told me that she when she was so poorly she wanted to comfort of being close to her mummy and she was trying SOO hard to look at me,like she was trying to tell me that thats what she wanted.Well after that I started leaking bits of milk again and started to express again today...only getting v.small amounts but every little helps and I am taking Fenugreek capsules and fennel tea to try and build up my supply again (if anyone out there knows of any other tips I am open to any info I can get LOL!).I guess at the end of the day I felt a bit pushed into giving up any way and it just goes against all my natural instincts as a parent.As long as there is milk there she can have it.Well its little Seris due date today...we had a little Party for her and took in biscuits for the staff.They were really nice and congratulated me and her for getting to her due date :-)....15 weeks old and just reaching her due date LOL! sounds really odd...and WHAT a 15 weeks!!.Think the staff are all amazed that she has survived so far as she has had an absolute hellish ride.They were contemplating yesterday ligating her PDA and ASD anyway but didnt think she could withstand the Op thankfully she has stabilised without them doing that so far but they have said she now has 'loud abnormal heart sounds' whatever that means...cant really think too far ahead now as I'll drive myself mad with worry.Just taking one day at a time and praying that she will grow stronger.Thanks to everyones good wishes and especial thanks to sweet Vickimother off my antenatal club for keeping everyone informed for me xxx