I watched a film last night and in it one of the characters said something whihc really hit home with me
'' You're in a perfect place - surrounded by Grace'' and '' God dwells in me - as me ''
God can use anything and anyone to speak to you.
I 'signed up' for a Bible study group this week..Its something I had wanted to do again for a long time but through my questioning of everything I had put it off.
I posted a comment on facebook about wanting to join one and had a lot of lovely offers..but I didnt act on them.I didnt know where to go so I thought I would let God decide.
God decided, and arranged it all...then I got scared.I found out that the home group contained a lot of what I term 'Big Christians' one in particular that I have always always felt completely inferior to.
Well I have been sweating about this first meeting since Sunday, ridiculous I know but I have.
Then it hit me, I love my children all equally they are all absolutely adorable.They all have different personalities strengths and weaknesses. I love Seraphina just the same as the others.
God feels the same way about us. Gods love for us has nothing to do with our accomplishments.I could complare Seraphina to the other children...She cant walk, she cant talk, she cant braid her hair or make things for me and Yet my love for her is no different...she is utterly precious and she gives me gifts every day...
...the gifts she gives me is when she looks me in the eye and smiles or when she is tired and she puts her arms out to me when she is tired and wants to be picked up and carried.Im her parent thats what Im here for, I love her.
I know God feels the same way about me.he loves it when I 'look hinm in the eye' and when I am tired and reach out for him to carry me for a while.
Ive known this in my head for years but knowing it in your heart is another matter entirely.
God is not interested in a performance of a perfect woman who glides through life as if suspended several inches off the floor.
God dwells in me....as ME with all its faults and inconsistancy.
As for Bible study group...yes I am still nervous.But I know I am in a perfect place...surrounded by Grace.
as a friend gently reminded me ''we are all the same to the one who matters''