well its time..

have just started packing ready to leave for Sheffield tomorrow morning...my little sweetheart is on the afternoon list for surgery.They are going to re-do her fundoplication for the third time in 12 months.
Its funny,this will be her 8th surgery in total and it doesnt get any easier at all,Im more aprehensive this time I guess because so much hangs in the balance,I know that its more risky this time round because she has scar tissue from the previous ops but also, shes been through so much already and she NEVER reacts well to surgery,it always knocks her back a lot.They've not siad how long she'll be in for this time...dont think they dare as the last time was meant to be a couple of days and instead turned into 4 weeks!
If anyone does read this,I just want you to know how wonderful and brave my little fighter is,how she overcomes every obsticle thats put in her way,how truly amazing she is....
......... Seraphina,my darling,I hope one day you will read this and know how much your Mummy loves you and how damn proud she is of you,you are truly my little miracle xxx

well I better get on with packing our stuff up ready to go as we have an early start...I hope my next post will say what a success the Op has been this time.

stop the world!!

Just had a phonecall from the community nurse.Shes trying to get things organised.Because Seraphina has so many professionals involved shes trying to get her a key worker.She said that Seraphina may not do as well as we hope and we need to be prepared for that,then was talking about another OT referral,IDS etc etc....BUT I DONT FEEL READY FOR THIS!!!.I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT HER NOT DOING WELL!!!
I came off the phone shaking and just wanted to cry.I just want all of this to be a bad dream.